Foot in Mouth for everyone

That's It!!!!!!

I say this with all impunity: no more Congressional comments on political activity. Not that there have been more really since the Moveon.org ad attacking General Petraeus. In fact that was ok. And there haven't been any more since....

All right, there was only the one. But repeatedly I see Congressional types and Senators get asked if Congress should make a call about the 12-year-old Bush critic that has been swift boated by the Right Wing blogosphere. But to be honest, this is still not the activity of congress. Let me explain.

Civics 101: You shoulda learned this shit in 9th grade.

There are three (3) branches to the US government. The Legislative, the Executive and the Judicial branches constitute the government at the federal level according to the constitution. The Legislature has the powers of the purse and the sword. This means they have the powers to declare war and raise taxes (Oddly enough, the big guy does not). They also have powers to create laws, enact bills, ad nauseam. In fact here are their powers:

The constitution of the United States of America (in congress assembled), Article 1, Section 8. All the numbered statements would be called powers.

1)The aforementioned power of purse and sword (providing for common defense).
2)To borrow money on the credit of the US.
3)To regulate commerce with other nations, states and even Indian tribes (I guess this was before we threw them on reservations)
4)To establish rules of Naturalization and Bankruptcies.
5)To coin money and establish and fix weights and measures
6)To provide for the punishment of counterfeiting and something else I can't remember off the top off my head (Yes, I'm doing this off the top of my head!)
7)To establish post office and I think roads, too.
8)To further progress of Arts & Sciences (read: they should be helping PBS & NPR. And the National Endowment for the Arts!)
9)To create tribunals that are inferior to the Supreme Court (cuz its like Supreme. Who can be superior to them?!?!)
10)To define and punish piracies on the high seas
11)To declare war, grant letters of marque and reprisals
12)To raise and support armies, but no appropriation of money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two years (what does that even mean?)
13)To provide and maintain a Navy (there are no restrictions on the Navy. Interesting, considering I'm ex-Navy, I like that)
14)To make rules for the government and regulations for land and naval forces
15)To provide for calling of militias and to execute the laws of the Union, suppress insurrections and repel invasions.
16)To provide for the organizing, arming and disciplining the said militia (does this include the Minutemen?). This one is long but I do believe there is a part that says they can erect forts, armories and dock-yards. Yes, it specifies dock-yards. Yes, one of the vaguest legal documents in history is specific about what Congress can build for the militias. Yes, dock-yard is written in your constitution. No, Jesus is not.
17)To make all laws which shall be necessary for proper for carrying into execution the aforementioned powers, all other powers the constitution decides to give to congress and the offices and yada yada yada...

No where in there does it say “To rebuke the press for printing things, even if they are crap and badly rhymed, that Congress assembled thinks is crap”.

Reasons Congress is pissing me off. First, As much as the moveon.org ad is wrong, I don't think Congress should take up precious tax subsidized time with. I, you and the kid who delivers your paper are paying for congress to sit around and tell people on the internets to not say crap because it makes them so mad.

Second, for Congress to take time to address every little prick on the Internet is just silly. The Internet is so full of shit, there is no toilet big enough to put it into. For such a respected body (if you believe such) to single out a little turd among the shitpile is disgusting. They have better and more important things to do like getting our troops out of misguided and badly planned wars. Oh, like the scales are falling from your eyes!!!

Third, its completely politically motivated and cannot convince a thinking American that politicians aren't just covering their collective asses. There is nothing like Congress saying “OMG, IMHO those fuckups!!!!!”

So, in the spirit of Congress who obviously has too little to do, I move for the following motion:

That both houses of the Congress of the United States shall not make negative nor positive remarks in congress assembled toward the media in its many forms and formats as well as free speech by any citizen of these United States. Furthermore, Congress is urged to restrain its spirit when making bills that exceed the powers of congress as stipulated in the Constitution of the United States.

My mother seconds the motion. Motion so moved and seconded.

All those in favor say Yea:

“Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

All those opposed say Nay:

[crickets in the galleries]

As the yeas outweigh the nays by 100%, the motion is resolved. Its now a bill. Mozel Tov.

Look I spent all that fucking time on this. I didn't even get to the juicy part about Ann Coulter making anti-semitic comments. I guess I can wait... no, I really can't.

For those of you who know me, you know that I think Ann Coulter is insufferable (I must be tired. There is no long string of obscenely large adjectives describing the acrimonious and repugnant spew that she calls her opinions... Oh wait...). Miss Coulter thinks her opinions matter. And despite the fact the woman is educated, she makes some really pathetic and poorly thought through comments like women should not be allowed to vote because they are stupid and have no knowledge of money. To be fair, she is just like any other political hack, Republican or otherwise, who thrives on name calling and insult mongering to sell books. For other people with actual shows and lets just be honest, jobs, they call it raising their ratings.

Ann Coulter appeared on CNBC “The Big Idea” with Donny Deutsch all the way back on Monday. But since I do not go out of my way to consume all things Coulter, I didn't hear of it till it came up on The Countdown with Keith Olberman ( I love you, Keith!), who is by the way on MSNBC, and yes, they are affiliated channels.

She made some rather anti-semitic comments but they were grounded in theology. Basically, she said that Christians want Jews to be perfected. She also used Seinfeld, a sitcom that went of the air 9 years ago as a reference for mixed race couples in New York City having chips on their shoulders. To think Ann Coulter bases her critique on modern urban society on Seinfeld boggles the mind. I think Jerry Seinfeld is weeping somewhere.

I enclose the following transcript in my already overly long post. I actually procured this from Fox News. See they aren't all bad.

DEUTSCH: Let me ask you a question. We're going to get off strengths and weakness for a second. If you had your way, and all of your — forget that any of them —
COULTER: I like this.
DEUTSCH: — are calculated marketing teases, and your dreams, which are genuine, came true having to do with immigration, having to do with women's — with abortion — what would this country look like?
COULTER: UMMMMM (pause) ... It would look like New York City during the Republican National Convention. In fact, that's what I think heaven is going to look like.
DEUTSCH: And what did that look like?
COULTER: Happy, joyful Republicans in the greatest city in the world.
DEUTSCH: No, no, no, no, but I'm talking about this country. You don't want to make this country — it's not about Republicans. I'm saying, what would the fabric of this country look like? Forget that the Republicans would be running the show.
COULTER: Well, everyone would root for America, the Democratic Party would look like Joe Lieberman, the Republican Party would look like Duncan Hunter —
DEUTSCH: No, no, no, I don't want — I'm not talking about politically the landscape. What would our — would we be safer? Would people be happier? Would they be more —
COULTER: We would be a lot safer.
DEUTSCH: Would there be more tolerance? Would there be — would women be happier, would the races get along better? The Ann Coulter subscription — prescription. What — tell me what would be different in our fabric of country, because —
COULTER: Well, all of those things.
DEUTSCH: I can give — I can give you an argument there would be more divisiveness, that there would be more hate —
COULTER: Oh, no.
DEUTSCH: That there would be a bigger difference between the rich and the poor, a lot of other — tell me what — why this would be a better world? Let's give you — I'm going to give you — say this is your show.
COULTER: Well, OK, take the Republican National Convention. People were happy. They're Christian. They're tolerant. They defend America, they —
DEUTSCH: Christian — so we should be Christian? It would be better if we were all Christian?
COULTER: Yes.
DEUTSCH: We should all be Christian?
COULTER: Yes. Would you like to come to church with me, Donny?
DEUTSCH: So I should not be a Jew, I should be a Christian, and this would be a better place?
COULTER: Well, you could be a practicing Jew, but you're not.
DEUTSCH: I actually am. That's not true. I really am. But — so we would be better if we were — if people — if there were no Jews, no Buddhists —
COULTER: Whenever I'm harangued by —
DEUTSCH: — in this country? You can't believe that.
COULTER: — you know, liberals on diversity —
DEUTSCH: Here you go again.
COULTER: No, it's true. I give all of these speeches at megachurches across America, and the one thing that's really striking about it is how utterly, completely diverse they are, and completely unself-consciously. You walk past a mixed-race couple in New York, and it's like they have a chip on their shoulder. They're just waiting for somebody to say something, as if anybody would. And —
DEUTSCH: I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that at all. Maybe you have the chip looking at them. I see a lot of interracial couples, and I don't see any more or less chips there either way. That's erroneous.
COULTER: No. In fact, there was an entire "Seinfeld" episode about Elaine and her boyfriend dating because they wanted to be a mixed-race couple, so you're lying.
DEUTSCH: Oh, because of some "Seinfeld" episode? OK.
COULTER: But yeah, I think that's reflective of what's going on in the culture, but it is completely striking that at these huge megachurches — the idea that, you know, the more Christian you are, the less tolerant you would be is preposterous.
DEUTSCH: That isn't what I said, but you said I should not — we should just throw Judaism away and we should all be Christians, then, or —
COULTER: Yeah.
DEUTSCH: Really?
COULTER: Well, it's a lot easier. It's kind of a fast track.
DEUTSCH: Really?
COULTER: Yeah. You have to obey.
DEUTSCH: You can't possibly believe that.
COULTER: Yes.
DEUTSCH: You can't possibly — you're too educated, you can't — you're like my friend in —
COULTER: Do you know what Christianity is? We believe your religion, but you have to obey.
DEUTSCH: No, no, no, but I mean —
COULTER: We have the fast-track program.
DEUTSCH: Why don't I put you with the head of Iran? I mean, come on. You can't believe that.
COULTER: The head of Iran is not a Christian.
DEUTSCH: No, but in fact, "Let's wipe Israel" —
COULTER: I don't know if you've been paying attention.
DEUTSCH: "Let's wipe Israel off the earth." I mean, what, no Jews?
COULTER: No, we think — we just want Jews to be perfected, as they say.
DEUTSCH: Wow, you didn't really say that, did you?
COULTER: Yes. That is what Christianity is. We believe the Old Testament, but ours is more like Federal Express. You have to obey laws. We know we're all sinners —
DEUTSCH: In my old days, I would have argued — when you say something absurd like that, there's no —
COULTER: What's absurd?
DEUTSCH: Jews are going to be perfected. I'm going to go off and try to perfect myself —
COULTER: Well, that's what the New Testament says.
DEUTSCH: Ann Coulter, author of "If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans," and if Ann Coulter had any brains, she would not say Jews need to be perfected. I'm offended by that personally. And we'll have more "Big Idea" when we come back.
(BREAK)
DEUTSCH: Welcome back to "The Big Idea." During the break, Ann said she wanted to explain her last comment. So I'm going to give her a chance. So you don't think that was offensive?
COULTER: No. I'm sorry. It is not intended to be. I don't think you should take it that way, but that is what Christians consider themselves: perfected Jews. We believe the Old Testament. As you know from the Old Testament, God was constantly getting fed up with humans for not being able to, you know, live up to all the laws. What Christians believe — this is just a statement of what the New Testament is — is that that's why Christ came and died for our sins. Christians believe the Old Testament. You don't believe our testament.
DEUTSCH: You said — your exact words were, "Jews need to be perfected." Those are the words out of your mouth.
COULTER: No, I'm saying that's what a Christian is.
DEUTSCH: But that's what you said — don't you see how hateful, how anti-Semitic —
COULTER: No!
DEUTSCH: How do you not see? You're an educated woman. How do you not see that?
COULTER: That isn't hateful at all.
DEUTSCH: But that's even a scarier thought. OK —
COULTER: No, no, no, no, no. I don't want you being offended by this. This is what Christians consider themselves, because our testament is the continuation of your testament. You know that. So we think Jews go to heaven. I mean (Jerry) Falwell himself said that, but you have to follow laws. Ours is "Christ died for our sins." We consider ourselves perfected Christians. For me to say that for you to become a Christian is to become a perfected Christian is not offensive at all.
DEUTSCH: We will let the audience decide then, won't we? Ann Coulter. New book. More "Big Idea" straight ahead.
She would have been better of by just going “Hm.... foot”. Ha! A quote I got from Friends no less. To be honest, she is stating what many Christian Evangelicals believe. Many will deny it and for the most part it is not ill-intentioned. They have a mission to save as many souls as they possibly can. I have no idea. I was raised Catholic. We believe in Good Works and that Judgment is reserved for God and God alone. We also said we weren't going to try to convert the Jews anymore. We weren't even going there. If anything we want to become one of the Righteous among the Nations.

So, all Ann did was present the side of Evangelical thought that is for the most part frightening. She mentioned Jerry Falwell and he probably would have rooted her on. He had some beliefs about the Jews and Israel, particularly that if there were an Israel and it conquered the Middle East, Rapture's gonna come. If it does, I got dibs on the car.

I want to point out how difficult it is for her to not base things in political terms. She has to keep everything politics. Does she consider politics when changing lanes.

Just for the hell of it, here's the YouTube entry for this. It must be seen!!!



For the love of all things good and American, someone help her!!!!!

Other news. The mercenary company Blackwater, Inc. is being sued in a US court. Well, ain't that dandy! A Philadelphia firm filed a lawsuit against the company for committing murder on behalf of the families of the men who died. The Iraqi government contends that the 17 men killed on September 16th died by “premeditated murder”. The company is usually contracted to protect US diplomats traveling through Iraq. They claim the convoy they were protecting came into danger. There has been no evidence to back this up and an investigation by both the US and Iraqi government is underway.

And the final thing I'm commenting on should have been the first. A bill has passed the the House Foreign Affairs committee with a vote of 27-21. This bill calls the slaughter of 1.5 million Armenians by Turkey, then the Ottoman Empire, during World War I, genocide. Turkey does cop to it but calls it a massacre.

This has not gone to the full house floor and may in fact, do so Friday. It has gone through committee before but never gone to the floor. If this gets passed, there may well be very shaky relations for the United States and Turkey ahead. We keep discouraging Turkey's desire to move into Northern Iraq to quash the Kurdish communities there. They shouldn't anyway. It'd be an act of war, boneheads! Secondly, they've obviously slaughtered enough.

Turkey has recalled its US ambassador and there have been protests in the streets of Istanbul. Come on. Just forget about it like you did the Armenians. I mean this is pretty insensitive of Turkey I might add. Not to mention, nobody cares. Look how quickly they stopped talking about Myanmar or Burma. And they really have a gripe!

Not to mention, its or legislature. Not yours or the United Nations. We can say the sky is green. Does that make it true? I'm not saying that we do or that the Armenian genocide did not happen but protesting something that could be so insignificant looks like you're fishing for some excuse to act torked or it really happened and you're in denial.

OK, thats it. No “on this day” segment. I'm wiped. Have a good night y'all!

New mp3s, laws, a book, a name and the end to the war

Greetings all!

Boy there's a lot for me to unload. I'll start with that particular image. The Apple. As in Apple Macintosh, the accursed (and yes, I know they are good for the graphically inclined) maker of macs. Suffice it to say, I've never been a fan. Don't get me wrong. I've used them but usually at schools who bought them cheaply because Apple thought it would incite parents to buy them for their children. This idea never really caught on and Macs have remained the red-headed stepchild for years. And just like like the proverbial sibling, they're really flashy but lack substance.

My reason for vilifying Apple know no limits. I detest iPods and even more so, itunes. Why? Well, besides the fact that there are better mp3 players out there that get a whole lot less press (and don't have the slick and snazzy marketing campaign), I just don't like the idea of an apple product in my home (I do have to admit I own a couple of Apple accessories that work on PCs). I also think itunes is revolting due to the fact that I cannot control the content I purchase in the same way if I bought the hard copy itself. I can download it but it will only play in itunes unless I burn it onto a cd, then rerip it on to my pc. Ugh....

I own a Dell Desktop and a Gateway laptop. Not that I'm a fan of those brands either but they aren't macs. Frankly, the Dell is only a Dell in name only (the insides are mine, I just use the case). I own a 30GB Creative Zen Vision: M which sadly is nearing the end of its life. I also am a suscriber to eMusic. If you haven't heard of this site, check it out. They are not about contemporary pop music like Akon and Christina Aguilera. Rather they specialize in independent and less popular genres like jazz, classical and older shite that is cool. True Audiophiles move past current music in search of the obscure aan forgotten. I will listen to everything. To look at my library is a test of endurance. It runs from Bach's organ music to Japanese rap to Glenn Miller and gothic. I even have a slew of environmental sounds, old radio plays and soundtracks. I have a cd library to match and consider myself legal. Some stuff was downloaded back in the day but I've since moved past that. EMusic has helped me build a library of big band, folk and even polyphonic music. EMusic has grown to add audiobooks.

But itunes was still the place to go for current music like the aforementioned Christina Aguilera. I say was... because on September 25th, Amazon started up its on wing of mp3 downloads (and its in Beta). They offer songs at $.89-$.99 apiece. This is a competitive price since Apple's itunes is roughly the same. However, where Amazon rules is the album pricing. It runs about $8.99 or less for current drivel and $6.99-$7.99 for the stuff I'm currently interested in like Bing Crosby, the Dale Warland Singers and Debussy (don't ask about Debussy. Actually, I'll tell you as a classical music buff that classical is a very seasonal genre. Listening to Debussy and other late Romantic composers in the fall is best. Stravinsky, Saint-Saens, Rimsky-Korsakov, Shostokovich, some Chopin, non Nutcracker and 1812 Tchaikovsky, Holst, and Ravel are great listens in October. Debussy's Claire de Lune sparkles regardless of the season, however. Stravinsky's Firebird Suite is excempt from the autumn as it is a spring juggernaut. You'll note the lack Germanic composers though Chopin was Polish (as was Tchaikovsky, too). Most composers on the list are Russian or French... I'm getting away from my point). This is music to my ears. They are DRMless and better yet, highly mobile! I've already downloaded a bunch of Dale Warlad, Anonymous 4 and 4 cds worth of ol' Bing. His non-Christmas stuff. I'll attack Count Basie tomorrow! Regardless I couldn't be more thrilled. To add to my already enormous World War II collection is a treat.

Moving on, I actually have really become absorbed by the war. The war as in World War II. It begs the question. We are currently embroiled in a rather unpopular war that requires little sacrifice for the civilians other than those whose send loved ones to fight. There are no war bonds to buy, no metal to salvage and ration books to use. And yet, without the hardships of the 40's, we complain. Gas prices are too high, FEMA is a mess and the press is a confusing mash of ambitious political hacks. Its no wonder I dream of Edward R. Murrow, Winston Churchill and FDR fireside Chats.

But like nationalist sentiment and the allure of scratched, sepia-toned photos, there is something wrong with my fascination with the War. It was not a romantic time. It has been romanticized through film, song and anecdote. Vietnam vets looked longingly at that war and wished theirs had been like it: Just, right and necessary. What hurts is that there isn't such a thing. War is dirty, rotten, hellish, surreal and agonizing. No one, conquerer or conquered comes out without some rather nasty scars. World War II left many and its a shame that we lose so many veterens every year. They are wonderful people who sacrificed so much and deserve our undying respect.

Regardless, we look at it without the reality of what the sense can truly tell you. Looking at photos of crematoria at Auschwitz without really seeing it begins to become a problem when Holocaust deniers begin to get attention. We need to continually re-evaluate the war and its effects on the world we know. We need to look at it without the romanticization of time. With the romance comes mythology and eventually the war becomes not how and who fought or even why, but what we imagine it was and idealize it to be. Otherwise it will become like Victorian age. We have glossed over the human suffering that took place in the name of the Industrial Revolution. We read Dickens now and forget how very real the conditions were.

Because of this, I was glad that Ken Burns made The War. In 7 installments we look at the war through the eyes of those who lived it and experienced it. I had never known about the slaughter of Nazi soldiers near Normandy as they were trying to retreat. It is so obscure that it is difficult find any documentation. Anyways, those who didn't watch it... what's wrong with you? It will be replayed. View it just for the poetic and elegant Sam Hynes of Minnesota (the Woodrow Wilson Professor of Literature Emeritus I might add. He taught at Princeton after getting his PhD!). Listening to his words alone makes it worthwhile

While I go through reading books on the war and listening to its music, I also am reading up on its slang. There's a book out called FUBAR (which I might add looks similar to the US Army's FM 21-76: the Survival, Evasion and Recovery Field Manual). In here are not only the American GI and Gyrene slang but the British & Aussie as well as German, Russian and Japanese. There are some interesting entries such as Khaki-Whacky and cackle fruit. The oft-argued about and aptly, the book's title, FUBAR is included. It states in the text that it stands for Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition. There are several arguments about this term. One being that it is Fucked Up Beyond Any Recognition or All Repair or Reason. I was raised by two Sailors who both were raised by former military men. It was always All Recognition to me which by the way I learned at a very young age ;).

But here's a conundrum: was it really used in WWII? My father maintains that it was not. He claims it was coined in Vietnam. A good many things were coined in 'Nam but I never believed him. It gets mentioned far too many times in film and literature alike prior to Vietnam to be from there. The book does not shed any light on this perplexing mystery. However, in the introduction, author Gordon L. Rottman (somewhat ironically named) asserts that many terms predate the war and were coined during the American Civil War or in other countries. Well, thats a different frame of mind. No one had ever thought it might be older than the War! He also mentions that terms were from various other walks of life and professions such as farming even! Again, not a possibilty in my mind. Usage seemed so entrenched in World War II lore that I failed to envision a very different circumstance to its birthing.

I began to do a search for the origins of the fabled FUBAR. SNAFU, the name of this blog, was also included in this search (And in case you do not know what SNAFU means, it is Situation Normal (or Nominal as a good Marine might say), All Fucked Up.) In Google Answers, it says that it came from the Fuchtbar. THis I find hysterical as there is a plot within the World War II-era film Saving Private Ryan where Captain Miller's rangers tell the translator they're saddled with that FUBAR is German. Poor kid looks it up but cannot find it!

"Lieutenant Dewindt: FUBAR.
Private Reiben: FUBAR.
Sergeant Horvath: FUBAR.
Captain Miller: FUBAR
Private Jackson: Y'all got that right.
Corporal Upham: I looked up fubar in the German dictionary and there's
no fubar in here."

It also states that phone booth repairmen used it when they went out to sites to communicate over less then preferable quality back to their bosses. FUBAR and SNAFU were easily heard and quickly said. I wanted more corroboration than Wikipedia however. I continued but I could find no other reference for this storied beginning to the overused term. I did find it interesting that Wikipedia listed other R-words that also turn up such as rescue, recovery, reality, and redemption.

I also found an interesting entry: SUSFU. This is related to FUBAR and SNAFU. SUSFU means Situation Unchanged: Still Fucked Up (By the way, I haven't been saying Fouled instead because it was Fucked. Get over it!). I was wondering about changing the name of this site to SUSFU. Things haven't changed despite the sweeping elections of democrats last year who were dedicated to bringing our troops home from the war. Problem isn't that they can't get things done. The war cannot end. Not as we envision it. It may take decades which frightens me to tears. It may end as it did in Vietnam with a helicopter atop the embassy and Bing Crosby's White Christmas being the signal to drop everything and scram.

I don't know. I'll give it some thought. I'm going to bed. Turning in.... Smoking Lamp is out!